Childhood is an amazing time, full of exploration, discovery and wonder. It is also a busy time as we balance the competing needs of growing minds and bodies. Nowhere is this more evident than in the tug of war between education and sports.

 No question, Aussies love sports, of all kinds, and we want our kids to enjoy them as much as we do. At Kip McGrath we see evidence of this on a daily basis as we are one of the ‘after school activities’ vying for their valuable time. Students arrive at our doors in full sports kit, soaking wet from swimming, surfing or surf lifesaving, or towelling their hair after a quick shower and a hasty change of clothes.

 It is great to see them active and we encourage it, although there are times when it is difficult to find a free space for tutoring and we have lost out on a few occasions to sports events. Overall though, the old adage of ‘healthy body, healthy mind’ does ring true, and although by no means a hard and fast rule, we do tend to find that the kids who squeeze every minute out of every day have more energy than those with time on their hands. 

 The difficulty comes when parents are forced to choose between activities. This can be for financial reasons, work commitments or family, but the result is the same, and it is often a hard choice between sports and education.

 It is a real ‘hearts and minds’ struggle. The mind will explain to the parent that sports is a fleeting fancy and education is forever, but there is a very loud heart team mascot in the background shouting about fun, winning and taking part. The heart often wins; it has fun, cultural support and cool sports kit on its side. We have times tables and grammar rules.

 But this is the thing. It doesn’t have to be one or the other, just a little less of one to allow for the other. We have met, and worked with, plenty of adults who wish that they had spent a little less time on the pitch (or in the pool, or on the track) and a little more time hitting the books (okay, tapping the keys and looking at the screen). It is true that you don’t get a second chance at being a kid, and you will never be as fit again, but it is also true that your brain will never be as agile and as receptive to new information and new ways of thinking.

 Education is really sports for the mind, and like all sports natural talent only takes you so far, practice is the key to winning. If you think about it that way it just makes sense to include it amongst your child’s other activities. Give your child the best chance at winning in all areas.

For those waiting with baited breath for our next blog instalment, apologies, we have both been burning the candle at both ends running the existing business, managing the purchase of our new centre in Valley View and recruiting staff for both! It would be an understatement to say that it has been a busy time! End of term break? What end of term break?

Which brings me to my ticklish topic for the week: how much control should parents really allow their kids over whether they attend tutoring or not? It is a difficult area for parents, because of course tutoring is not school, and therefore not mandatory, so as a parent can you really insist that your child attends tutoring if they make it clear that they don’t want to?

It is a question faced by many parents after an end of term break, and even more so after the summer holidays. Let’s face facts; we are talking about kids, whether they are in primary or secondary school, and after a week or more of video games, sleeping in late and hanging around with friends, any form of mental exercise will sound less than appealing, especially if it is in addition to school. In fact, Mark and I are more surprised by the students who are eager to return to tutoring after the holidays than those who drag their feet.

This is where the ‘tough love’ element comes in I’m afraid. Unless something miraculous has happened during the break, and your child has suddenly gained maths or English knowledge they did not possess at the end of the previous term, those skill gaps will still remain and tutoring will still be required. As someone who has completed their schooling and knows the value knowledge has at University, other forms of further education and in the workplace, you have a responsibility to use that perspective to advise your child.

If your child says ‘I don’t want to go anymore’, you have to recognise that this is a natural reaction to losing the freedom of the holidays, and be wise enough and tough enough to urge them on. Make no mistake, this is a huge responsibility; if they are remedial and there are significant skill gaps, your response to their attempt at giving up will impact on the rest of their schooling and potentially their working life.

If you are unsure how to handle the conversation, or need support, ask the tutor. As noted, this is not an uncommon post-holiday reaction, and any experienced tutor will have faced this challenge many times before. When the stakes are this high, a tough conversation is a small price to pay.

I hasten to add by the way that it is extremely rare for the negativity to last even to the end of the first session, at least in our centres; students soon relax back in to familiar surroundings and get on with their work. So please relax, kids are remarkably resilient, it is the parents who agonise! Any doubts your child has now will be more than compensated for when they can read at the level of their peers, or achieve their first ‘B’ or ‘A’ in maths. These are the things that matter, the things that have long term value.

Have a great week!

I freely admit that today I am suffering the after effects of too much fun. Last night Mark and I helped celebrate the half century achievement of a lovely woman and friend whose selflessness makes anyone she comes across an instant friend. Put simply, if you don’t like her, your friend radar has gone extremely wonky!

Anyway, as is common for all similar celebrations, the passing years attract people of all ages and from all walks of life, from her lovely, accomplished and attractive daughters and their friends to us, of the, um, ever so slightly older generation, and beyond. If the numbers of people who attend your birthday celebrations is a measure of your value to others, she is highly valued indeed.

But this is not a commentary on our friend’s social acceptance, but instead the form of the party itself. It is normal at these events for people to gather in their usual peer groups, facing inwards, backs to the rest of the world as a protective barrier, passing between them the hot potatoes of shared stories that guarantee that no stranger can force their way in. But not at this one.

Our friend’s master stroke was to introduce a theme, a small and, in some cases, exceedingly hairy device that effectively disguised all partygoers: wigs. Long, short, curly, straight, or, in my Mark’s case, mohawked and multi-coloured! The result was hilarious confusion as longstanding friends struggled to locate each other and were forced to introduce themselves to complete strangers in a wig-infested elimination round.

Men of all ages returned to the dark days of the 80s rock gods, but although some of the younger ones seemed to enjoy this renaissance of hair, and quite suited it, it has to be said that the effect of combining shimmering locks with middle-aged spread was not always as positive.

Of course, the girls didn’t take it too seriously, just bit of fun really. No, not really, in some quarters it was all out war to try and out glamorise the competition! Greying, short, sensible haircuts disappeared under flowing tresses in all hues, matched to outfits that certainly hadn’t been just hanging around in the closet!

Basically, we all ‘went to town’, and had a great time for the first part of the evening re-introducing ourselves to the new personalities our friends had become, and introducing ourselves to the people we thought could be our friends and soon would be! 

As the evening wore on, and the bar staff fought to keep up, we moved in to a new stage, as the carefully staged wig and outfit combinations were stripped apart and wig-swapping became the latest craze. At last count, in the wee hours, one friend had managed to beg, borrow and barter, at least a dozen wigs, each of which became a new Facebook identity. There must be many of her friends unconnected with the party completely baffled by the quick fire transformations!

My point in all of this hairy mayhem is that the wigs acted as a social leveller. We were suddenly all the same; confused, self-conscious and ever so slightly itchy. We moved through the party in disguise, free to talk to whomever we wanted, without the social barriers that usually apply. In short, it was great fun and I highly recommend it.

Oops, I’m supposed to have an educational theme in here somewhere. Let’s see. Don’t judge a book by its cover?  Treat others as you wish to be treated? Actually, there may be something in that; so many of ‘our’ kids arrive with labels and histories, carried before them almost as a pre-judgement. But we refuse to let history colour our present with them. Our centre is a new start for many of them, and I honestly believe that this more than anything else has helped many of them to succeed. Sermon over, I’m off for yet another Sunday recovery cup of tea!

I firmly believe that the ability to express oneself in writing is a key skill that everyone should possess. Whether it is writing (emailing) a new idea to the boss, recording a daily diary, or crafting a carefully worded dissertation, there really is no excuse for not being able to tell your own story. This is after all a key part of our development as human beings.
All of which gives me an excuse to be fascinated by blogs. I can’t help myself; I love those little glimpses in to people’s lives, their inner workings. It’s addictive being able to step in to someone else’s shoes from the comfort of your own sofa with a cup of tea in hand, and so much better when the author is able to tell a story.  For example, here’s an excerpt from a blog that I read every day http://thestoryoftelling.com/the-elephant-in-the-marketing-room/

“I was raised in Dublin, the storytelling capital of the world. There is no place on earth that is more hardwired for story than Ireland, home of Guinness and oversize teapots.  Wikipedia will tell you that the Irish are some of the biggest consumers of tea. What Wikipedia won’t tell you is that in Ireland, tea (like Guinness), isn’t just a drink—it’s a lubricator of story.”

What a great start to a blog! How could you not read more? In one paragraph I am immersed in the descriptive language, mentally adding Dublin back on my list of places to see and looking forward to yet another cup of tea! Many Hollywood productions do far less with far more!
So, as I sit once again with the kettle gently bubbling away behind me, I want to tell you a story about my experience in Ireland, and how it changed my life. Way back in the dark ages of1990 I was a corporate cog in the wheel of the busy press office of Guinness, home of that famous inky pint. Ironically though, at the tender age of 24 I preferred sweet white wine to a pint of the black stuff, so the staff perk of a case (slab) once a quarter was a bit wasted on me.

And so it remained until, many twists of fate and 8 years later, I found myself on a literal and figurative pilgrimage to Ireland. Armed with the guilty cash of a soon to be dissolved marriage, I hired a car, determined to complete a circuit of the emerald isle’s coast.
It was a lonely, somewhat tragic and cathartic experience, but let’s quickly gloss over that and get to the twist. My consolations along the way were a temporary fascination with whisky and a belated conversion to the joys of Guinness. If only I had known what wonderful stuff Guinness was, I would have made far better use of my employee bonus!

As I travelled, petrol fuelled my car and Guinness fuelled my soul, or at least the wounded part of me that craved artistic output. Yes, you guessed it; I wrote a sweeping memoir of my trip, destined to gather dust in a drawer somewhere. But not only that, I also penned a number of songs of equally dark content, which, in a moment of sympathy, a friend helped me to record back in London.  The songs were depressing a full of woe, and I have not been able to listen to them since, but they served as an odd kind of closure, and I was able to move on thanks to the healing powers of Guinness.

So there you go, one interesting blog leads to an odd little story about change, which I would not have been able to share if I was not confident in being able to put myself down on paper.

The point is that the spoken word is wonderful, but can be limited, by context, social convention, by our own inhibitions. But the written word; no such limitations apply, we can write to a blank page, overlooked by no one and judged only by our own thoughts. What wonderful escapism, which is why as tutors we encourage every child to have a go, put pencil t paper and see what happens. The results are funny, challenging, confusing, but never, ever boring.

So get your pens or keyboards out and have a go. In this age of bite-sized information, where texts are the language of choice, we need to rediscover the joys of slow communication. We will be the better for it. 

There was a time when I knew everything, or at least I thought I did. And what I didn’t know didn’t matter, or could wait until later. I think it was roughly between 5 years old and my mid-twenties, that golden age when everything was possible. And I was going to take full advantage; watch out world!

Then a curious thing happened. I discovered these strange things call ‘challenges’, and with challenges came these equally unfamiliar things called ‘doubts’. Those little cracks in my armour worried me, and I found myself working harder and harder in the mistaken notion that I had to do it all myself. My great fear was failing others and being found wanting against my peers.

If I am honest, it took me a few years to realise that sometimes asking for help is a positive step, not a sign of weakness. The concept of ‘mentoring’ entered my life, and I have never looked back. From tentative beginnings, I have become something of a mentoring junkie! Once you start looking you soon realise that help is at hand in pretty much every facet of your life!

Far from a weakness, I now realise that seeking out the best advice possible is a practical and efficient method of improving yourself, not to mention a great way of connecting with interesting people.

Most of my mentoring is unofficial, and often casual. My husband Mark for instance, has mentored me on numerous occasions throughout our years together (10 years this week in fact). He is a natural ‘big picture’ thinker, and I value the perspective that he gives me when I am ‘nutting’ through a challenge and in danger of ‘disappearing down the rabbit hole.’ Equally, his big picture thinking sometimes ignores important details, and I am able to mentor him in return by reminding him of the importance of those pesky little bits and pieces that actually get things done.

I have many good friends who are also my mentors, and this provides me with a wider pool of resources when I am making decisions. They also act as sounding boards when I am trying out new concepts, especially for my business. I also have specific business mentors from a wide range of specialist areas, who help me to streamline my thinking, try out new ideas and concepts and catch me when I am heading off in the wrong direction.

And of course, never one to shirk responsibility or pay a debt, I have also taken up the mentoring baton, and try to provide practical support for friends, work colleagues and others. Mentoring is a natural part of who I am now.

During a recent chat with a friend, she advised me that I should be charging for my advice.  But, and here I may sound a little ‘holier than thou’, it really is not about monetary reward for me. In fact, it is quite the opposite; I gain a far greater reward from mentoring than money. It really is a chance to ‘give back’, to let others gain from my (sometimes painful) experiences.

When we tutor at the centre, it is never just about the facts and figures. There are plenty of services out there based around memorising and strict discipline, but we firmly believe that learning should be an enjoyable and positive experience and that education is a composite of concepts and knowledge, but also personal growth, communication, interpersonal skills, confidence, pride and a myriad of other factors.

Mentoring is an implicit part of how we work, and watching the maturing process of a disengaged learner in to a smiling and happy learning adventurer is an absolute pleasure and something that money cannot buy. The parents of those students know what we mean, as do the teachers who watch their progress in the classroom.

I would encourage anyone to mentor and be mentored; open yourselves up to the possibility of not knowing everything, but enough to help others and you will find life much richer for it.  

The past week has felt like a scene from the movie Julie & Julia as I suddenly found myself connected to like-minded people around the world responding to my blog. Blogging is quickly becoming addictive, partly because I get to see my words appear for the world to see, but more so because they appear to be striking a cord with so many people. Yay, I am not the only one that thinks educating children is an amazingly important job!...More...