There was a time when I knew everything, or at least I thought I did. And what I didn’t know didn’t matter, or could wait until later. I think it was roughly between 5 years old and my mid-twenties, that golden age when everything was possible. And I was going to take full advantage; watch out world!
Then a curious thing happened. I discovered these strange things call ‘challenges’, and with challenges came these equally unfamiliar things called ‘doubts’. Those little cracks in my armour worried me, and I found myself working harder and harder in the mistaken notion that I had to do it all myself. My great fear was failing others and being found wanting against my peers.
If I am honest, it took me a few years to realise that sometimes asking for help is a positive step, not a sign of weakness. The concept of ‘mentoring’ entered my life, and I have never looked back. From tentative beginnings, I have become something of a mentoring junkie! Once you start looking you soon realise that help is at hand in pretty much every facet of your life!
Far from a weakness, I now realise that seeking out the best advice possible is a practical and efficient method of improving yourself, not to mention a great way of connecting with interesting people.
Most of my mentoring is unofficial, and often casual. My husband Mark for instance, has mentored me on numerous occasions throughout our years together (10 years this week in fact). He is a natural ‘big picture’ thinker, and I value the perspective that he gives me when I am ‘nutting’ through a challenge and in danger of ‘disappearing down the rabbit hole.’ Equally, his big picture thinking sometimes ignores important details, and I am able to mentor him in return by reminding him of the importance of those pesky little bits and pieces that actually get things done.
I have many good friends who are also my mentors, and this provides me with a wider pool of resources when I am making decisions. They also act as sounding boards when I am trying out new concepts, especially for my business. I also have specific business mentors from a wide range of specialist areas, who help me to streamline my thinking, try out new ideas and concepts and catch me when I am heading off in the wrong direction.
And of course, never one to shirk responsibility or pay a debt, I have also taken up the mentoring baton, and try to provide practical support for friends, work colleagues and others. Mentoring is a natural part of who I am now.
During a recent chat with a friend, she advised me that I should be charging for my advice. But, and here I may sound a little ‘holier than thou’, it really is not about monetary reward for me. In fact, it is quite the opposite; I gain a far greater reward from mentoring than money. It really is a chance to ‘give back’, to let others gain from my (sometimes painful) experiences.
When we tutor at the centre, it is never just about the facts and figures. There are plenty of services out there based around memorising and strict discipline, but we firmly believe that learning should be an enjoyable and positive experience and that education is a composite of concepts and knowledge, but also personal growth, communication, interpersonal skills, confidence, pride and a myriad of other factors.
Mentoring is an implicit part of how we work, and watching the maturing process of a disengaged learner in to a smiling and happy learning adventurer is an absolute pleasure and something that money cannot buy. The parents of those students know what we mean, as do the teachers who watch their progress in the classroom.
I would encourage anyone to mentor and be mentored; open yourselves up to the possibility of not knowing everything, but enough to help others and you will find life much richer for it.